Nicole vs. Life
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He? As in you personified your dick?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
