im holly from the hills drunk
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
