Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
