Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
