he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
