Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
