I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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