So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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