I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
