whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize