ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
