Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
