is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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