Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize