I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
They took my balls.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
