Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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