Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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