we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
