Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
