I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize