This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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