how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
