her vagine was all disorganized.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
