im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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