This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize