We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
