thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
