Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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