I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
