why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
