She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
