You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
