You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
