I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
