My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
