cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
