If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
