whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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