HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
