the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
