PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
