so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
