let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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