After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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