I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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