yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
