She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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