she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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