i think my mom watched the whole time
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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