A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
tell your sister to shave her snatch
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
