puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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