:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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