Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
