so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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