Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
