i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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