Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
the raccoons are back...
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