Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
