i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You are a genius and a whore.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
