im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
