apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
